Our second night in Tokyo we made our way to the world’s smallest izakaya (the Japanese equivalent of a pub). Think pub except much smaller, much quieter, you have to take your shoes off when you enter and the toilet is clean enough to eat off. We later discovered a 1.5m squared pub a few days later which trumped it but you get the message- these places are small. That doesn’t stop people from going out on a regular basis however. The Japanese people like to drink and drink a lot and a tipsy/drunk Japanese man/woman is a transformation from the norm.  

dont worry youre not gona step in anything, this is Japan

 
The Japanese are usually extremely polite and conservative when sober (at least to other Japanese). People are taught to always watch what they say and think of others, often hiding their emotions even when pissed off (another reason why I would fit in so well here). Think British times a hundred.

Public conflict is avoided at all costs and apologising profusely for anything is a necessity, even if it’s not your fault. Don’t even get me started on the “arigato-ing” and bowing. People bow at absolutely everything – the hello bow, the welcome bow, the excuse me bow, the please bow, the thank you bow etc., even the random bow when you just look at someone and they bow and then you bow out of politeness and you have no idea what the hell is going on but you find yourself in a random bow off. And bowing is super contagious. My arigato and smile already became an arigato and gentle bow on day one and now it’s become a “three arigato gozai mas (which I still don’t know what it means but everyone else says it so I go with it) followed by three to five boob/belly-button level bows depending on the situation.

Anyway bowing and arigato-ing all goes out the window after a few biiru or sake. While biiru (beer) is the most popular drink and sake is the most traditional (rice wine has been brewed for centuries in temples, shrines and imperial breweries across the country), our poison of choice is shōchū. Shōchū is a distilled spirit with an alcohol content of around 30% made from a variety of things, including potato and barley. It’s not the nicest tasting thing in the world and traditionally it was seen as a low class drink, even used as a disinfectant by some (and before anyone says anything, no it’s not like rakija it’s no way near as good). It’s now become a trendy drink as it can be mixed with pretty much anything- hot water, soda and lemon (in a Japanese style gin & tonic), grapefruit, macha (Japanese green tea style flavour), and I’ve even seen it mixed with milk (imagine it’s like having a glass of milk and vodka).

our barmen was very happy to hear what the name of his yebisu beer meant in serbian

 
   
 
We squeezed into our seats at the bar with our lemon shōchū, soaking in our environment. We were the only girls at the bar and although the barmen were very friendly and incredibly trendy, the rest of the men (or as the barmen called them the “cherry boys”) were only talking amongst themselves. 

  
Eventually nearer the end of the night my neighbour at the bar turned to talk to me. He was an investment banker who had been drinking since 5pm. He explained that when his boss leaves the office at 5 (because you can’t leave the office before your boss does), his second job starts which is drinking with his boss. This is common in Japan and something you can’t say no to (it’s disrespectful and impolite- a heavenly excuse, why didn’t we think of that?!). He ended up telling me all about his girlfriend in Kyoto who he had met over Facebook and communicated with only through SMS. I wasn’t sure if he was looking for comfort or advice but this three-sentence chat had taken us half an hour so I opted for the classic smile and nod. If there is one thing more difficult to understand than Japanese English it’s drunk Japanese English. He then enquired about my relationship status and offered to buy me a drink. Now I was even more confused but I politely declined (with a bow of course) although I gave up on the bow the second time he asked and the third. 

My first Japanese drunken bar chat experience had been an interesting but confusing one and I could only hope that my friend had a bit more swagger and fluidity when talking to Japanese women. And he was going to have his chance as we left the bar and were replaced by a bunch of cute and giggly young ladies who had obviously been “working late” themselves.

Japanese Elvis- the sexiest guy in the bar