So I don’t usually write about my business trips because, contrary to popular belief, most of the time I spend there I am working my butt off. However, when I have the odd evening and weekend off I make sure to make the most of my time in each country, especially when I’m visiting for the first time. And this time I was setting off with my colleague Matyas to the most exotic destination to date; the Caribbean. We were on our way to the Bahamas and Barbados; the kind of places I had only ever imagined were visited by very wealthy individuals seeking tropical paradise.

The first hurdle I had was the logistics. Knowing close to nothing about the Caribbean I had never really zoomed in on the map that much. I new Cuba was the biggest island and close to Mexico/Florida because I’ve been, and I knew that the Dominicans shared a large island with the Haitians next to Puerto Rico because of all the Latin American literature and poetry I studied as part of my course. And obviously after visiting my dear Bermudan friend Chris, I knew Bermuda was literally in the middle of nowhere, far from any human civilisation. But other than that I kinda thought all the other smaller islands were in a nice little group close to each other.

I imagined island hopping involved you sitting in a little boat in Barbados and rowing over to your neighbours in Trinidad and the Bahamas. How very wrong I was. Turns out Barbados is the most eastern island, actually in the Atlantic Ocean, closer to Venezuela, while the Bahamas are more north than Cuba- a stone’s throw from Florida (if you could throw a stone 300km). Most locals don’t actually travel that often in between islands as it’s costly and they prefer to go to the States or Canada visiting relatives, searching for work, or sometimes just shopping (believe it or not it’s cheaper than on the islands). The Bajans (Barbadians) consider the Bahamas so far away they even forget it’s in the Caribbean and certainly the majority of them haven’t been. There isn’t even a direct flight, you have to catch a 4hr flight to Miami and then transfer for another hour and a half.

Mistake number two arose when I was chatting to a tour operator in the Bahamas and she asked me what island we were coming to. “Um….The Bahamas” (I mean it was the Bahamas tourist board I was chatting to wasn’t it obvious?!) “No m’am, I mean which island in the Bahamas”. Apparently the Bahamas is an archipelago comprised of….wait for it….over 700 islands (only 26 of which are inhabited). I mean ok, it’s nothing compared to the 7,000 that the Philippines have but I mean we are talking about about islands you can’t even see if you zoom out far enough. To put things in perspective, both Barbados and the largest island of the Bahamas are 34km long. If you got the central line at Ealing Broadway 34km would take you to Leyton – so you basically wouldn’t even leave zone 3.

And then finally, I just had no idea what to pack. A quick online search had shown it was raining, and my British brain was worried that meant cold and longer sleeves, but then I suspected it was one of those countries where it rains for 3 minutes and it’s still hot as hell and you don’t even need a cardi (I was right).

The funny thing was that the Bahaman travel board had told me to take something warm for the evenings but I never needed anything warm at all. I guess locals have lower thresholds for cold. When I first landed in Barbados my taxi driver was wearing a jacket while I was boiling in a flimsy tshirt. I made a comment about them having one season all year long and he explained that they have all four seasons – including winter. I asked him when winter was starting and he said it already had (it was around 30 degrees). “That’s why I wearin’ de jacket”. Duh

Another comment to a local Bahamian about how incredibly hot it was generated smirks and laughter and he explained “you ain’t seen nothing gurl, 28 is cold by our standards.” After that I gave up my quintessentially British pastime of commenting about the weather.

Aside from just how hot I was going to be, I also didn’t know how formal it would be. We were visiting banks, but banks on a tropical island, would they be wearing suits and high heels and the whole shebang? Turns out yes (luckily I packed for both scenarios), although they all generally wear more colourful suits and shirts than our usual grey, navy and black range back home. In the offices people are very formally dressed and always looking very sharp. Only one of our meetings was outside of an office, and that was with a lady who suggested we meet at a place called “Just grillin'”. I imagined this meeting on the beach with a glass of rum and us “just chattin’ about de business,” but even that was very professional and sadly there was no rum involved.

The days leading up to the trip I began to get really excited. I spent a few days in Canada prior to the Caribbean and got to meet two Canadians who fly there often. Their general recommendations were: lower your expectations and slow your pace to adjust the island one. By “lower your expectations” they meant because the islands are still pretty underdeveloped (although nothing compared to places like Bolivia). They clearly didn’t know me though, and now I was even more excited.

As I sat waiting to board the plane to Bridgetown, Barbados, I gave Matyas a call. He had already spent the day out there. At first he complained about our hotel and how unluxury it was for the price (by the way everything there is mega expensive), and then he told me about his experience taking the local bus. Two boys were running the bus service- one greeting the passengers, and the other drinking beer and smoking a spliff- the driver of course. He was still in shock (remember what I said about not knowing what to expect). But imagining Matyas getting on the bus with his suit and briefcase and being driven by a drunk and stoned Bajan and his mate was the funniest thing I’ve heard. This was going to be one helluva business trip. Bring it on 😉