Thailand is a 95% Buddhist country (4% Muslim and 1% other) and so has a helluva lot of Buddhist temples, called Wats (hence the play on words in the title of this blog; very cleveeeeeeer). Every year on a special Buddhist holiday the king of Thailand visits 16 chosen temples. No offence to the king of Thailand (you can actually go to jail for many years for saying offensive things about the king of Thailand), but if he thinks 16 temples is a lot for one day he hasn’t met my mother. First, we negotiated a wake up time. All the bargaining powers in the world are useless when confronted with Mira Arežina in tourist mode. We agreed on a 7am wake up (yes that is actually us meeting half way if you can believe it) and after an amazing breakfast we hit the road.
Our breakfast had consisted of toast, eggs and Danish pastries but outside the street vendors were selling take away breakfasts for local Thais. The Thai breakfast to me looks pretty indistinguishable from the Thai lunch – rice, stir fried meat, sometimes a fried egg (on top of your rice and meat). I loved the hustle and bustle of the street this early in the morning though- it almost made up for being woken up at 7am on holiday.
We were gonna visit the centre of Bangkok and all the main Wats. The fastest way to get there was to take a river boat from near our hotel. These old fashioned long tail boats go up and down the river taking locals and tourists alike. We were sharing a boat with a few very enthusiastic Asians. The river was a little choppy and a little splashy but nothing to write home about. If you were judging by the reactions of our fellow riders and my mum however you would’ve thought we were riding Thailand’s greatest rollercoasting. They were laughing, screaming “ooooooohhh”-ing and “uuuuuuuu”-ing throughout the whole ride which made it an all the more interesting experience for me.
On arrival we had to cover up well before entering the temples. Buddha doesn’t like to see shoulders or knees so we were both wearing long skirts and trousers and even had to put cardigans on. Now at 34+ degrees the last thing you want to do is put another layer on but our first temple alone housed over 1,250 Buddhas and I didn’t want to go pissing off the higher powers and earning myself some bad karma. Buddhists believe that if you are a good person you are reincarnated as a more sophisticated life form- eg you start as a rat, then you’re a squirrel, dog, etc and eventually a human. Unless you are a king or Buddha it doesn’t get any better than that unless you are lucky enough to reach nirvana. In fact, Buddha himself went through 550 lives working his way up before he became Buddha and eventually reached nirvana.
The first temple we visited was Wat Pho- probably my favourite temple. The amount of Buddhas was impressive and many of them were gold and beautiful. Buddha sitting, Buddha lying, Buddha walking, Buddha chillin’, Buddha with his right hand up; “no war”, with his left hand up “blessing to all”, with both hands up “calm down” (that will come in useful when I’m back in the office). There is even a baby Buddha to pray to for fertility. My granny will be very pleased to hear I gave it a good rub.
Some of the proceeds from the temple entrance go towards spreading the word of Buddhism and helping people find peace. This means ordinary people can come and stay in the Wat with the monks for one week- meditating and being taught the way of Buddhism. Our guide explained that everything is financed by the Wat and you even get breakfast and lunch included (Thai monks don’t have dinner- most only eat once a day.) Apparently only Chinese Buddha is plump, all Thai Buddhas and monks are skinny. When we walked past a meditation session however we noticed everyone attending was older, like pension age ladies and gents. He had already lost me at “no dinner” anyway, but when I turned back at one point I saw my mum seriously negotiating her application. “It doesn’t matter I can learn some Thai and I’ll just spend more time meditating”. Sadly there are no classes in English so back to the corporate life for you momma.
The Wat was absolutely stunning, there was gold and gold and more gold but all laid out in a tasteful and pretty way. Talking of bling, did you know that the Thai royal family is the richest in the world, valued at over 30bn? I was convinced it would be one of the Arab royals. Our Lizzie doesn’t even make the top 10 richest royals. In fact, the European royals are actually relatively poor. Awww, #royalworldproblems, but it might make parting with that 69 pence from your paycheck (the amount the Royal family cost each British taxpayer last year) a little bit more bearable.
But back to our golden Thais. The Thai king (the 9th one who passed away 2 years ago) is probably the most loved king I’ve ever heard of. Everyone you talk to seems to think he was god’s gift to Thailand. I’ve even seen car stickers “long live the king”. They talk about him as the most benevolent, kind, smart and respected ruler and they still genuinely mourn him 2 years later. The only thing I will be sad about when Lizzie dies is the fact we won’t be allowed comedies on the BBC until after her funeral.
When the world’s most loved king died two years ago his soon took over. If there hadn’t have been a son then it would’ve been the brother, then nephew, then any other male member of the family- eventually ending up with the street corner coconut seller just so it’s not a woman. Come on Thailand. But ladies if you’re really good, you can always get extra lucky and be reincarnated as a man 🙂 #lifegoals
My mum was actually in heaven walking through this Wat. At one point I think she started to cry at how lovely it all is. There are 6 stages of Buddhist heaven and I’m pretty sure she went through a few of them. Seeing her in her gap ya attire with her bare feet was a relaxed hippie version of Mira you rarely see these days. She definitely went up a heaven level when our guide found out how old she is. First he was very confused – a Thai thinking a white girl looks young for her age- this was definitely a role reversal. Then he told us Europeans usually look really, really old (the man was in shock we can forgive his temporary collapse of social etiquette). Then the compliments started flooding in to the great delight of my mother who played her coy and humble role very well. When he told her she is “really a very good-looking woman” I almost stepped in to tell him to go meditate. The funniest part was when he genuinely asked her if she “takes herbs”. My mum just giggled which left me seriously wondering whether good Bosnian genes were the only thing helping my mum remain so youthful.
The Wat Pho experience was a lovely one but it was only mid morning and we still had half of Bangkok left to visit…
3 kids, 2 dogs please baby Buddha
