Due to our amazement and awe at Wat Pho we spent a little more time there than expected, which meant we wouldn’t be competing with the king on our Wat crawl. We also got on really well with our guide and even got to know him a little and shared intimate stories. He told us how his brother was naughty and got sent to monk school for a year. Apparently that’s what they do to naughty boys in Thailand (for naughty girls it’s the ping pong show).
He is also into Thai astrology and did a bit of analysis on me. Apparently as I was born on a Wednesday that’s a green day so I’m a good communicator. From looking at my hand he could somehow tell I’m a proud and independent women (this is beginning to sound like a Beyoncé compilation). And by being born on the 1st of the month this makes me competitive and desperate to always be first. Well I’m not usually that superstitious but within 5 minutes this stranger knew me better than some of my ex boyfriends. We wanted to hang out with him even longer but it was time we moved onto our next batch o’ Buddhas.
Our next visit was the Grand Palace; the homes of the kings of Siam (and then Thailand) until 1925. Even nowadays you get all sorts of royal ceremonies going on there. It was built originally for King Rama I, and nowadays you can find the ashes of Kings I, II, III, IV…etc scattered in different buildings around the Palace. Lovely.
The grand Palace is much bigger and much more touristy than Wat Pho. There are lots of figures of weird little half animals and demons (good ones, reincarnated from bad ones) guarding the main Buddha. A half lion half monkey, a half man half lion, a half woman half bird, etc. Apparently the monkey represents wisdom and the lion strength, although I’ve certainly never met a wise monkey, and I’m pretty sure the phrase “cheeky monkey” exists for a good reason. Maybe promises of nirvana made these monkeys behave.
There is also a weird golden snakey thing with 5 heads which represents the 5 Buddhist rules- no lying, no killing, no stealing, no sexual misconduct and no intoxicating substances (including alcohol). Now it was becoming clear to me why we don’t have Buddhists in Eastern Europe.
The pièce de résistance in the Palace, with a bigger entourage than the president of the United States, is the Emerald Buddha. He’s only about 66cms high (no wonder he can’t take care of himself), but he is the most important Buddha in Thailand. He even has his own wardrobe, and undergoes a costume change three times a year. The King himself assists the change. In the winter he has a golden robe (in case he gets cold), in the rainy season he has a delightful little off-the-shoulder number and in the summer he’s basically butt naked with a few jewels for decoration. Don’t ask me why they do it, it’s a tradition introduced by a few of the King Ramas and as we’ve established nobody messes with the kings in Thailand. And also not too dissimilar from the current president of the United States, all year long Buddha wears a head piece.
I’ll save you the details of our next Wat, Wat Traimit, but in a nutshell it houses a 5.5 tonne pure golden Buddha. Apparently this Buddha was covered in plaster for 200 years to stop the Burmese from stealing it. It was then forgotten about and eventually handed to some “shitty” temple. One day one of the workers of the temple dropped it and it cracked and a little bit of the gold came through. Needless to say the once “shitty” temple is now one of the most visited in Thailand. How’s that for karma baby?!
In between this temple and the final temple master allowed me to have 5 minutes off (mainly because she got lost on the way to the next temple), and I was also allowed refreshments of coconut cake and pineapple off the street.
Being lost meant we got to walk around the non-touristy areas of the city and see some interesting things. Firstly, there were lots of weird things being sold, and secondly a lot of men with their faces covered in some kind of cream or powder being what appeared to be threaded over their whole face. As you can imagine the beauty scene is big in Thailand, for men and women alike.
When my mum finally admitted we were lost we jumped in a tuk tuk (whose driver didn’t talk but luckily was a very enthusiastic photographer) and he took us to the final temple of the day. We commented on the relatively civilised traffic in Bangkok compared to what we were expecting. The tuk tuk ride was fun and no way near as dangerous as it could’ve been. Having ridden a tuk tuk in India I was really prepared for the worst. Even in a car, hell I think even in an army tank I wouldn’t feel safe in Mumbai traffic. Here in Bangkok it seems everyone is too busy smiling to get worked up about the traffic. #landofathousandsmiles
Tuk tuk selfie