Ok enough lounging around- it was time for some action. Besides, as much as I love being lazy, I love adventure more! We headed towards Storms River. I say we; I was designated driver so Josh had been enjoying the Eastern Cape’s finest grape juice and had fallen asleep leaving me to enjoy our road trip on my own.
So as I drove a sleeping Josh towards Storms River, we were now officially driving into the “garden route”. The garden route is what they call the stretch of coast from Storms River to Mossel Bay. It’s the second mildest climate in the world after Hawaii and it has plenty of nature- forests, nature reserves, wildlife, and eco-tourism. Driving in you can really see the scenery change. Everything becomes a lot greener, trees popping up everywhere and mountains appearing out of nowhere. The route is so beautiful, and I have to say I felt pretty badass driving along with my shades on and the sun shining into the horizon. That was until I saw the sign for how it’s “Strictly prohibited to feed the baboons”. For some reason I imagined dangerous gorillas instead of baboons and so my driving became a lot more alert and a lot less Jack Kerouac, but it was a great view all the same.
Storms River village is where we were headed and where we would spend a couple of nights immersing ourselves in nature. The village is super cute and just a few kilometres away from Tsitsikamma National Park, which holds the entrance to Storms River. The village itself is surrounded by forests and the Tsitsikamma mountain range, meaning you feel so isolated from the hustle and bustle of the 21st century even as you arrive.
I had reserved us a hostel that had great reviews and came highly recommended by some J-Bay locals. I booked us two normal rooms but when we arrived at reception they told us they had booked us in luxury tents instead. Turns out this hostel is comprised of log cabins and elevated safari tents. As we walked to our rooms the receptionist admitted it was a joke and took us to the private rooms instead but it was too late- I had seen the luxury tents out of the corner of my eye and the luxury gypsy in me was excited. Even when he explained the water and electricity wouldn’t work the first day, nothing could deter me from spending the night here. I’d never been in a luxury tent before, and I love sleeping in tents out in the open so this was win win as far as I could tell.
“What makes a tent luxury?” I hear you ask….well for one it’s fixed and elevated and although the walls are made of thick tent material, there is a proper roof and doors with a lock. It has a double bed, electricity (unless it’s not working) and an en suite bathroom with a wood chip compost toilet, and (when it’s working), a shower and a sink with running water. Proper luxury. Other than that it’s incredibly cute and I loved sleeping in it- I felt like Štrumfeta the female Smurf sleeping in her mushroom house in the forest.
The first evening there we relaxed by the bonfire and got an early night to prepare for our action packed next day.
The next day we woke up extra early for our first activity- zip lining along the Kruis river gorge, 50m above the ground. We wanted to check out Tsitsikamma’s fauna and flora from a different angle. I was excited but apprehensive, firstly about my fear of heights, and secondly and more importantly, about being the fatty that gets stuck in the middle of the line (it’s happened before and I have hit the Malva pudding pretty hard these days (South Africa’s most traditional desert- best eaten with extra custard)). But we had no issues, we glided through each zipline, Josh with the aerodynamics of one of the local eagles and me his slightly chubbier, more cowardly cousin- maybe more like a Cape Town penguin. The views were spectacular though and a really great experience.
After gliding above the river our next activity brought us right into it- kayaking up the Storms River mouth itself. I had no experience kayaking, but luckily I was in the safe hands of Kent’s finest kayaker Josh (or so he claimed). Josh on the other hand had a lot less confidence in me, and when the guide announced it was 2 people per kayak he started looking around the group for a potential partner. He soon realised, however, that the only other person in the group without a pair was this strapping young Greek man who had been giving him the eye the previous evening and was donning an extra small pair of speedos that day. Mr. Speedos looked very eager to be Captain Josh’s sailor boy, while Josh on the other hand swiftly came crawling back to yours truly (they always do).
Now we needed to decide who would be the Captain (the brains and coordination) and who would be the Engine (the power) of the kayak. There was clearly one of us who had superior strength, skills and coordination, but unfortunately there was only one of me, so we decided Josh would take the Captain position and I would be Engine, to put my big boxers biceps to good use.
We managed to enter the kayak without falling in, which meant our ride was already exceeding my expectations. The beginning was tough because some members of the crew just weren’t pulling their weight (won’t mention any names but you know who you are). Luckily I had eaten enough ostrich and springbok this week to row for the both of us so our kayak made good progress up the river.
Our ride up the river involved detours and fun facts from our guide (did you know that bats are the cleanest animals on earth as they spend over 80% of their day grooming themselves?!), but once we’d made it to a certain part of the river, we tied our kayaks to the shore and moved onto lilos. Part of our experience involved liloing down Storms River. Josh stepped up to be the first to jump into the river with his lilo. Lord knows where this false confidence came from (potentially wanting to impress Speedo boy, but I can’t be too sure) because as he jumped, one of his legs completely missed the lilo and it ended up with him basically falling head first into the river. My entrance on the other hand was a beautiful transition from land to water that resembled that of an elegant swan.
Feeling a little jealous, Josh then tried to sabotage my experience by holding my lilo back and trying to push me into ensuing rocks. I didn’t even need to sabotage him however, as being the lad that he is, he had another show off moment where he got up to stand on his lilo. Like I say, I can’t be too sure, but he did make sure Speedo boy was within eyeshot. He couldn’t keep his balance and this time he finished off with the most dramatic belly flop I’ve ever seen by someone so skinny. It was truly spectacular. I obviously laughed my head off so he came over and capsized me (twice) so make sure he wasn’t the only one dunked in the Storms river.
We kayaked the remaining way and did a light bit of trekking before we made our way back to our favourite little village battered and bruised after a fun packed day.
That evening it poured down with rain and after a lovely meal with some delicious South African wine, I settled in to my little luxury tent to fall asleep to the pitter patter of rain on my roof
