So we woke up in this beautiful little house in the middle of nowhere. The house we were staying in was an example of Cape Dutch architecture, a typical Afrikaner architecture style brought over by the first Dutch settlers in the region. Inside it felt like sleeping in a life size dolls house- cute but a tiny weeny bit creepy.
Outside, however, there was nothing Dutch about the views. We were surrounded by super blue skies, sunshine everywhere, and the most incredible mix of greens, browns, coppers etc. that would put even the largest MAC eyeshadow palette to shame.
We were in the Breede River Valley region of the Western Cape, one of the largest wine producing districts of the country. Our closest town was Rawsonville, but we had vineyards spread out all around us. We initially had thought of going to Stellenbosche, as this is the most famous area, however our sommelier landlady assured us that we were in the less famous, but cheaper and equally as good area.
Our landlady gave us a map and took us through the vineyard hopping route that she recommended. This included a brief intro to the wines of the region and their background, methodology, etc. (remember she knows her shit). Personally, whilst I very much appreciate a good glass of wine, I still pride myself with the ability to distinguish a red from a rose, so our 5 star sommelier masterclass was lost on me, although wine expert Josh seemed to be at least attempting to follow as he smiled and nodded along (he afterwards admitted he only understood 30% of what she was saying but it still looked convincing).
So we headed off into wine country, Josh’s expert wine tasting palette and my expert posing and pouting at the ready. I knew I would have a small timeframe to get in as many bloggable photos as possible before Josh’s eyesight started going blurry and photos started coming out lopsided and with the odd finger in shot.
Turns out, Josh was very interested in trying almost every wine each vineyard had to offer, so the photo quality started diminishing already around about vineyard number two. We also thought it would be nice to take a break and visit the nearby brewery to try local beer. Coincidentally, Josh is also a beer expert so the poor thing was obliged to taste quite a few beers in there as well (out of courtesy to the local brewer of course). I’m told you have to drink the whole pint to really experience the full flavour.
After a considerable amount of “tasting” he wobbled back to the car and we set off for our next stop- a local trout farm. Random and weird, I know, but it had been recommended by our landlady and we thought we’d check it out. She’d mentioned to us that you had to drive down a “slightly awkward” road to get there. Turns out “slightly awkward” is South Africa’s version of the Bolivian road of death. Luckily, my expert driving skills and ability to remain calm under pressure got us through. Needless to say that a (by this point wasted) Josh’s morale support was invaluable as he every so often looked over cross-eyed and in between hiccups acknowledged “that’s pretty narrow” or “shit that’s quite steep”. Luckily he’s not a Bosnian man so didn’t offer to drive on my behalf.
We were also very lucky that this trout farm didn’t seem to have any other visitors apart from us, so we didn’t face any cliff hanging moments and aside from the obvious stress, we arrived there pretty safely.
The trout farm was sweet and the nature was different from the vast expanse of horizon we had been driving through for the last few days. It was closed off, more green, and had a kinda “little house on the prairie” feel to it. We sat down next to a peaceful little river (presumably the home of the trouts). I had just found a nice spot and was relaxingly slathering on my tan intensifying oil and enjoying the surroundings when out of nowhere comes a half naked Josh sprinting across the field in his swimming trunks heading towards the river with the biggest grin on his face. Remember this is the same Josh who had to be forced out of his jumper on the beach at 30 degrees on more than one occasion. He jumped in head first and spent the next half an hour in this trout river playing around like the cat that got the cream- it’s probably the happiest I’ve ever seen him. It looked cold to me but apparently it was “refreshing”. Guess I would need refreshing too if I’d drunk “tasted” half the Western Cape’s grape harvest of 2017.
After Josh had freshened up and I caught up on my tanning, we made our way out. At the exit to the trout farm we discovered why there’d been no traffic on the way in and why we hadn’t seen a soul the whole time we were there- the whole thing was a private property whose gate had accidentally been left open when we were entering. Obviously by the time we were trying to exit, the gate was closed and we couldn’t leave. Panic. Locked inside an African trout farm, I mean really, how was I gonna explain that one to my boss. Or even worse, imprisoned in an African jail for trespassing on a trout farm. Lol. I ran out the car and started desperately explaining myself to the nearby locals on the street. They were all giving me this chilled out “calm down you hysterical woman do I look like I give a shit” look (typical of the region), but luckily my yelling had got a neighbour up and out of his home and he took pity and opened the gate for us.
After that crazy ordeal and a fun packed day, we decided to go get something to eat at the last vineyard on our list. By this point it was really, really hot, and even I was feeling exhausted (and I’d been drinking water all day). Our beautiful wine region adventure had come to an end so we buckled up, and made our way to our final destination- one of the trendiest cities in South Africa- Cape Town 🙂
